From the Notebook

2020: To Grow as I go

My word for 2020.

I love the Christmas break.

It is the time I get to truly relax, reflect on my year, and think about how I want to move forward. It is usually a quiet time when I start to close some cycles and open new ones. It is also the time when I choose the word that will serve as a guide for the new year.

Last year I chose “balance”. What really happened is that I learned that balance is one of the hardest things to achieve, especially in the face of change and making important choices. 2019 was a particularly difficult year, but I learned a lot about myself and what I want and where I want my life to go.

Balance.
Balance is the ability to keep steady. In 2019, I learned to keep steady.

2019 was a good year, too. I finished all my master courses, I got better at my job, I visited my family, I made new friends, and I got engaged. I am particularly excited and grateful for that last one.

2020 will be a year of many changes and exciting new things. There are many plans and projects ahead, many big steps to take and I am very looking forward to taking each one of them. So, the word I have chosen for 2020 is Grow.

Grow.
Verb. To develop as a person, to increase, to improve.

Grow. What an ambiguous, non-defining word. While I was reflecting on it, I kept asking myself the same questions over and over: What does it mean for my life? What are its implications? Ambiguity can be intimidating. It can be scary not knowing the scope or the reach of what is being said. Where does it start? Where does it end? But there’s certain freedom to it, too.

What is it to grow? Who will be growing? Is it me? In what ways? Is it my projects? My skills? My goals? It could mean anything. Here’s a thing that’s growing in 2020: My life. I’m no longer going to be one; there’s going to be two of us now. What else can grow? My writing, my list of books, my plans, my character, my confidence, my hair, the plants on my window.

Unlike other years, where I chose nouns such as balance, purpose or discipline, this time I chose a verb to emphasize the process of it all, the state of constant change. The growing is happening as I go, as I move from one place to another, as I learn new things and live through new moments.

So, with all that said, this year I hope to grow. And I hope you do so, too. I look forward to seeing you here again very soon. Have a blessed and happy new year.

Paola.

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